The GOP Explains Globalization In Three Words


two men dining

h/t Andrew Meyers.

A Republican and a Democratic congressman were dining together inside the beltway. The GOP-er was excited about his party's chances for the 2016 Presidential election. “I’ll put up Cruz, Paul, even Christie against anyone you've got.”

The Democrat looked up from his vegetarian plate and just smiled. The Republican offered, “the problem with you Democrats is you don’t understand globalization.”

“Globalization? You, the party of no favored-trade agreements? Do tell,” muttered the bemused Democrat.

The Republican nodded, “I’ll put it in easy terms, so even a bleeding heart liberal like you can understand. Three words: Princess Diana’s death.”

The stunned Democrat looked at him. “How do you figure Princess Diana’s death defines globalization?

“Actually, it’s the perfect example. Start with an English princess. She has an Egyptian boyfriend. Together they crash in a French tunnel, riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky. They were followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

The stunned Democrat could only shake his head.

“I’m not done yet,” replied the Republican. “All this, I learned using American Bill Gates' technology, on material downloaded off Australian Rupert Murdock’s Fox News feed on my computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian truck drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican UPS drivers... So, in 2016, tell me how you're going to beat that," boasted the proud Republican?"

I will, and like you, in three words-- Hillary Rodham Clinton.”