Assholes R Us


Crazy party

Tom Coburn suffers from delusional thinking. Just like the virus currently spreading through Walking Dead, you don't know you have it until it's too late.

How lonely it must be in the castle of the one-eyed king. Located somewhere in Oklahoma with a summer palace in Washington D.C., the King Crazy spreads his rule across the United States. The members of this blathering idiot's court are grand vizier, Rafael Cruz, court jester Mike Lee and of course the Florida Coconut himself, Marco Rubio. (all pretenders to the Dufus Throne)

With a mantra of the best defense is a strong offense, Kooky King Coburn has struck out at the leadership of his opponents. Putting aside the Congressional Rules of Civility, Dr. Tommy just publicly began the assault with a verbal attack. His target, the duly elected leader of the senate, is Harry Reid.

The boiling point was reached Monday when Tommy C. held nothing back when discussing his relationship with opposition leader Reid at a fundraiser in New York City, according to the New York Daily News.

asshole 3

"There's no comity with Harry Reid. I think he's an absolute a--hole," Coburn said at a gala for the New York Young Republican Club, as quoted by the Daily News.

Asked about the level of civility in the Senate, Coburn reportedly listed other Democratic senators that have "great relationships" with him, including Chuck Schumer (D-NY).

Three things wrong here. First, Coburn isn't bright enough to know, let alone properly use the word "comity." He probably meant comedy. We all know that when it comes to comedy stylings, Harry Reid is no Al Franken. So I'll have to give that one to Terrible Tommy.

And secondly, Chuck Schumer claims he's never been friendly with the late James Coburn, the equally late Charles Coburn or the acting late, Senator Tom Coburn. The closest that came to being was in the Senate washroom when King Tom was refused a hand shake by Schumer when Coburn hadn't washed before extending his hand.

And finally, "Asshole?" Really? This from an ordained Southern Baptist deacon? I bet Deacon Tom's sermons really were fire and brimstone oratories.

Maybe I'm just expecting too much. He's a doctor who votes against a woman's right to choose in her personal reproductive decisions, pushes for war in Syria, voices opposition to peace efforts with Iran, votes for wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, votes against immigration reform, votes against health care reform, supports a government shutdown, declares there's no inherent harm in a debt ceiling default, and when all of those fail, he joins the fray in a chorus of name calling!

You go, Tom Terrific. Your insincerity ranks up there with the North Carolina voter official who's bigotry remarks were justified with "One of  my best friends is... Negro."

You can call Chuck Schumer or President Obama your friends, but the hollow sound of that proclamation is all your subjects are really hearing.

A-hole? That's the best you can do? Maybe it's time we start looking for a stronger King.

  • Jason Rowe

    noun: comity; plural noun: comities

    courtesy and considerate behavior toward others.
    an association of nations for their mutual benefit.