Nothing But The Naked Truth


beach b&w

Okay, here's one you won't want to miss. Drug smuggling. Boats. Maritime disaster. DEA. Police. Homeland Security. California. Nude Beach.

Got your attention?

A drug running boat carrying several thousand pounds of Marijuana is making it's way off the coast of Santa Cruz, California. Suddenly, without warning, the normally taciturn seas become choppy, then rise up further, breakers crashing over the deck of the boat. She takes on water and finds itself floundering. The captain puts out a distress signal, then limps his boat to the closest shores -- a nude beach. The marijuana runners escaped with some of their contraband, but couldn't take it all in their hasty retreat.

Three divisions of police, DEA and even Homeland Security agents arrive immediately, responding to the boat's distress calls before making land. Who said there's any fallout from a government shutdown?

But it seems they were moments too late. (Oh, maybe that's because of the slimdown).  The culprits were already gone when law enforcement arrived, as was most of the marijuana. Left behind were a few bails of the weed and some containers of gasoline.

Though questioning witnesses and recovery of some of the drugs went on for a while, most of the nude beach-goers were quickly dismissed after brief-less interviews. Evidently, none of them had much to hide from the officers. Rumor has it that the chief of police ordered his men to forgo any pat-downs on the witnesses as they were all naked. The police passed on demanding a strip-search, to see if any of them had taken some of the stash themselves.

Eye-witness reports weren't much help providing police with the outlaws' identities. When one of the nudists was asked if she could describe the criminals, she said, "I can't identify them for sure. They all were wearing clothes, if that helps."

The only thing copped at the scene by the cops, was perhaps a feel (for the situation), though no one's come forth to press any charges so far. Photos of the crime scene are still pending.

Here you go -- on the scene reporting -- nothing but the naked truth.