Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
It is day six of the government shutdown. Right now 33 percent of the house Republicans are doing absolutely nothing, which is not bad considering that before the shutdown 80 percent weren't doing anything.
This whole government shutdown is about PRESIDENT OBAMA'S health care plan. The Democrats are bending over backwards to get things going again. It's the House Republicans who want US to bend over.
Most of the country doesn't seem to be worried, but that's normal. The last time Americans cared about anything being shut down was when they shut down the Twinkie factory.
Nonessential government services like the Passport Office have been put on hold. Food For Thought: The time it takes to get your passport takes exactly the same whether the office is open or closed.
All this drama is very confusing to the hookers in D.C. They don't know whether they have to go to work tomorrow or not.
There was a KKK rally scheduled to be held in a National Park that, because of the shutdown, had to be canceled. The KKK not only lost money on the event, but had to pay the laundry who washed their sheets, whether they wore them or not.
Scientists in Italy say the Leaning Tower of Pisa is slowly getting straighter. Engineers blame it on that big bottle of Viagra they found in the basement.
China is building an $8 billion movie studio to compete with Hollywood. Producers are afraid they will be pirating our American movies like they did our CDs and copyrighted tunes which, of course, the Chinese vehemently deny. Here is their latest Hit Parade. You be the judge.
"I'm A Yangtse Noodle Dandy"
"The Night They Invented Chow Mein"
"I'll Take You Home Again Mei Ling"
"On A Clear Day You Can Bomb Formosa"
"Thai A Yalu River Round The Old Oak Tree"
"Rose Of Tiananmen Square"
and of course
"Bar Mir Bist Du Chan"