Senator McCain, You Get Paid For This SH**


John McCain poker

Oh, John McCain. You can't win for losing. You’re a hawk in search of a war and when you finally find it, what do you do? You play games.

If you were in class, being educated by a teacher and were caught playing with an electronic device, you’d have had it confiscated and you’d be sent expelled from the class. Instead, you sit there, flip-flop on your important hawkish views, then finally vote. But based on what? A pair of sixes?

America’s future isn’t a poker game unless you make it one. We’re expecting you to make decisions about our future, and our safety. And how do you treat it? Like it’s a game. A silly game. And you’re not very good at it. You self-profess to have lost thousands in your fantasy play yesterday. I don’t think I want a man like you representing me in life and death decisions.

Whether or not US troops will be in harm’s way will be directly impacted by your vote. Syrian civilians – men, women and children – are sure to be collateral damage. Isn’t that more important than drawing to an inside straight?

Inside Straight poker hand

You owe your fellow senators, the President, the SOS and the American people an apology. You cheated us of your time and experience by disrespecting all of us with your silly poker game. Show some courage. Do what a true soldier should do. Take responsibility and accept your punishment – listening to the monotonous, droning on of the most boring man in America, John Kerry. I’ll agree his tedious tones challenge sardines not to roll up the tin lid on their cans but if we have to pay attention, so do you. You get paid very well for this. We don’t. So man up, John McCrime.

And we've had enough of your goofy expressions having been called out on your antics. If you’re not sure about what you did wrong, listen to Professor Jon Stewart as he explains: