Wouldn't it be great to be homeless? Think about it. Seriously think about it. No bills to pay. No property taxes. You get to change your location all the time, so if you bore easily, you're going to be somewhere else tomorrow anyway. Oh, and think of not having to worry about vacuuming or doing laundry. The great outdoors is now your home.
While you're enjoying the outdoor life, you can can be singing that old standard by Gus Kahn and Walter Donaldson:
Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning,
Gone are the hard decisions like where are we going to spend our next vacation, or if we should buy a hybrid or a gas car when we trade in the SUV. Ah, and to never have to worry again about, "Should we go for Chinese tonight, or Italian?" If you're a homeless dumpster diver, the world of eating is your oyster. The stale, the spoiled and the rancid are at your fingertips. God, what a wonderful life, huh?
Dream it, just don't live it if you're in North or South Carolina. Seems voter registration isn't the only thing the Carolinas have on their mind today. HuffPo, in a story on homeless in North and South Carolina draws attention to how little some cities and locals think about the plight of their desperate neighbors.
Love Wins Ministries, a Raleigh, N.C. church, has handed out sausage biscuits and coffee to the city's homeless for the last six years. But on Saturday, Raleigh police reportedly told members that they'd face arrest under a city ordinance that bans the distribution of food in any of the city's parks without a permit, according to WTVD.
"When I asked the officer why, he said that he was not going to debate me. 'I am just telling you what is. Now you pass out that food, you will go to jail,'" member Hugh Hollowell said, according to the church's website.
Six years this ministry has been handing out food. Now, suddenly the police stop them. It seems these are compassionate people who are trying to help, but like feeding the pigeons in the park, it's a bad idea. They'll just keep coming back and hover around you until you feed them more peanuts of torn slices of stale bread. And with them come diseases -- after all, pigeons are called rats with wings
So it's understandable that the Tar Heels are cracking down on human rats -- the homeless. Don't dare feed them or they'll flourish and multiply.
Well, that's North Carolina. The Tar Heels are struggling with an identity crisis. The can be forgiven for their "Don't feed the animals" policy. They've got bigger fish to fry. Voter suppression. But certainly things are different with their Siamese twin in South Carolina.
They are. Governor Nikki Haley and her band of angels show more compassion.
In South Carolina, the city of Columbia council members recently voted unanimously to criminalize homelessness, giving homeless the option to either relocate or face being arrested.
Oopsy. Seems they've now criminalized being homeless. Boy, the competition between North and South Carolina is heating up. I hear Governor Haley is stepping up legislation for public beheadings if you're found guilty of a second violation of homelessness. I'm not kidding (well only half so). Nothing like shame, guilt and a spectacle to deter homelessness.
What's wrong with these two states, when you're arrested in one for helping the destitute and jailed for being destitute in the other?
If I had Aladdin's lamp for only a day,
I'd make a wish and here's what I'd say:
Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning.
Maybe that last line should be nothing could be finer than to be out of Carolina in the morning. Whatcha think?