Save Us From Ourselves

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colored bohener

Recently John Boehner made news when he said that his and the Republican's greater purpose was to repeal laws, not pass them. Well, that met with a fine, "How d'ya do." It sure made the speaker look a bit ashamed when it was so widely ridiculed. I know this for a fact because his orange tinted face was starting to look maroon, or even brown. Hey, wait a minute, does that make Boehner an African-American or Mexican when he blushes?

That claim of repealing laws, of course, was not too eye opening in light of how the Republicannots have been obstructing so many valid and even necessary pieces of legislation. But cutting 'The Boner' some slack, (affirmative action at work now that we know his secret) I thought this recent article on some crazy laws might need his deft hand. Perhaps this might fit in with his overall plan of cutting regulations.

These are actual laws on the books, today. So this isn't a gag for a laugh. You can laugh, but only at how outrageous and outdated they are -- kind of like the current GOP party.

Weird News on HuffPo:

In Alaska, you can't wake a sleeping bear specifically for a photo opportunity

In North Dakota, beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time at any bar or restaurant 

It's illegal to whisper dirty things during sex in Oregon

You cannot dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale in Kentucky unless you offer more than six blue ducklings at once

Oklahoma: Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more 

Females can't do their own hair in Oklahoma unless licensed by the state

In North Carolina, Bingo games can't last more than five hours 

New York City has an ordinance prohibiting the carrying of ice cream in a pocket 

Fortunately I don't live in any of those places. But c'mon, John Boehner. Can't you use your influence to get your caucus to deal with these pressing issues. After all, you don't want to deal with job creation, health care reform (except for repeal), NSA spying, Social Security, Immigration, education, science, clean air, voter's rights, or anything else that matters. Now you have something your Hastert rule should allow you to bring up. Are you afraid Ted Cruz and Rand Paul will block you and find a tea party candidate to run against you?

Be a man -- but remember, don't wake the sleeping bears just for a photo-op.

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  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/akinsc Carla Akins

    How many people died in Alaska that they had to enact that law?