Patron Saints of ...


St. Christopher medal

As a child growing up in Irish Catholic Boston, it was commonplace to see a St. Christopher's medal dangling from a car's rear view mirrors or on the dashboard. After all, he's the guardian saint of transportation. All the girls' parochial schools were called St. Agnes or Our Lady of Sacred Agnes as she is the patron saint of girls. If your son was troubled or "wild", parents would light a candle to St. Patrick who would protect them from sins, snakes and witchcraft.

So in writing a post for The Political Carnival, I needed to know the name for the patron saint of Justice. Of Goodness. Of Fairness. Of Brotherhood. I looked them up and guess what? Those are not listed. I guess those traits are still available.

Patron Saints

With all the saints they do have, these must exist but they didn't make it to the official Catholic Church Patron Saints Index. No siree, Bob.

While those topics didn't make it, there are hundreds of other that did. I'd like to share a few of the more obscure with you. Keep in mind, these must be more important than those traits I mentioned above or for certain, they'd have made this list. So in place of Fairness, brotherhood, justice goodness, I give you:

Saint Bibiana - Hangovers

Saint Fiacre - Hemorrhoids and piles

St. Katherine of Alexandria - cutlery

St. Blaise - goiters

St. Julian - wandering minstrels

St. Vidus - actors

St. George - syphilis

Those are all real, I kid you not. So I've come up with a few of my own that I'm going to submit to the Catholic board for immediate consideration.

St. Stacius Awayis - protector from tax collectors

St. Vicodin - protector from constant back pain

St. Buttocks - guardian from a pain in the a**

St. GOP - Protector of women from their rights

St. Xanax - provider of all stress relief

St. Bendover Endictus -  Overseer of parochial schools

St. Palin - guardian of quitters

St. Arby's - Purveyor of Roast beef sandwiches

St. Boehner - Endower of Obstructionism

St. Yungus Boyus - Guardian of the Vienna Boys Choir

Suggestion Box

Feel free to add a few of your own. The Pope Francis's suggestion box is open and the Holy See is waiting.