Great news! Put down your Merriam-Webster, Cambridge, Oxford or Funk & Wagnalls dictionary. Now there’s a new kid on the block. It’s called the Republican Talk Dictionary (RTD). It’s also available in app form for those on the go.
Have you ever watched the news and were left scratching your head by some term or phrase the reporter was using? Or confused by colloquial usages like "chill" meaning "relax" and "sick" meaning "great?" Well, those days are now gone thanks to the RTD. Here are some examples via the new app:
Truth – anything you say or you want it to be. A malleability of facts, stretching them as far as you need to deny any culpability or responsibility. A statement, regardless of accuracy, repeated over and over enough that it becomes accepted. The first thing out of your mouth. A calculated answer to elicit a desired outcome. A pronouncement, whether real or imagined which you just made up. A convenience. Synonyms: George W. Bush, Darrell Issa, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Michelle Bachmann, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh.
Women’s rights – protections for women from their erratic, often dangerous decision making, especially when it comes to personal responsibilities, their opinions and their bodies. Safeguards so women don’t get the opportunity to be decision-makers or complicate or interfere with the superior male mind. A bulwark against those monthly moments when they’re totally insane and impossible to be around. Synonyms: Housewife, the old lady, the bitch, the ball and chain, the other half, golden beer retriever.
Obamacare – poisonous bill designed by Satan to force everyone into inferior health care and at the same time, raising its price. Its singular purpose is to ruin the health care business. It will force women into unwanted abortions at the public’s expense. As an undesired consequence, the poor and less advantaged will be allowed the same medical care as the upper class, causing unwanted delays and waits to see the top doctors. It will also guarantee people with existing conditions accessibility to reasonable medical coverage even if they don’t want it.. It sets up death boards which will decide when, where and how long “grandma” is going to be allowed to live. Synonyms: Poison pill bill, the plague, socialism, universal health care, the downfall of society.