“Everybody hates this upcoming made-up crisis, which is good, because there is a seriously simple solution to this universally reviled, universally acknowledged as dumb, thing. We could… not do it. Crazy, right? Congress has the ability to just not do it. Just turn the darn thing off. It’s very simple. And it is one very clear thought that is missing from this debate. It is the elephant-slash-donkey in the room. Am i missing something here? If we all think it would be bad for the country, why don’t we not do it?“
Today’s guest post is by our pal and regular TPC contributor, David Garber.
Dump the Chump
Cancer. Malignancy. Tumors. It’s all a horrible thought; a nightmare for those who’ve gone through it. And a fear for those who have not.
Fortunately medicine has provided some miracles and scores of individuals have been cured. Today America sadly has been diagnosed with a tumor and we won’t know if it’s malignant or benign until it’s removed. But it must be removed if we’re going to survive. This has to be done before the medicos announce it’s become inoperable. The procedure is painless. In the O.R. t’s called “Dump the Chump” and it’s not done with lasers or radiation. And fortunately for anyone afraid of needles, none are needed. It’s done painlessly with our vote.
Just like with any cancer removal, some healthy tissue will be lost to make sure we’ve removed ALL of the dangerous and diseased matter. The recovery time will be quick though and afterwards, pathology can examine carefully the removed tumor and perhaps, if there is some health tissue, it can be kept and returned when the patient is healed. But until then, it’s collateral damage.
The longer we wait to perform this surgery, the more dangerous the procedure and the riskier the operation. And if we wait too long, out plight becomes that of victims, too far gone to recover. Then we’re left to languish like the tuna pulled aboard a fishing boat, caught in the harvesters’ net, flopping around, gasping for a breath, until we die.
Fortunately there is a hole in the net that’s caught us. Our illness is still curable but requires everyone pulling together. The cancer is our Congress. They’re dysfunctional and malignant. They are acting out of petty self interest, not the well being of the patient (The United States). The results of the test are in — doctors call it sequestration carcinoma.
So now the cure. It’s a movement. It’s called “Dump the Chump!”
Surgery is necessary and the scalpel is our vote. But just like with that malignant tumor, we may have to lose some healthy cells along with the damaged. We must vote out EVERY INCUMBENT. Dump the chump. They all go — the good with the bad because selective surgery has been tried and it’s sadly not worked. Who we replace them with is up to us — a Republican with another Republican, or Republican with a Democrat — it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean voting for the other party. It means voting out EVERYONE because they cannot function together and the patient is paying the price.
We all blame someone else’s representative — rarely our own. “Oh, that’s the crazy guy from Kentucky, or that radical from New York or he/she’s just like the rest of them in Missouri or California.” But let’s stop kidding ourselves… It’s all of them. What feeds this cancer? Power and the disease’s confidence that “We, the people” aren’t strong enough to wrest it from them. Imagine you’re potentially dying and the doctors all take a 10 day break before operating, allowing the patient to suffer? That’s what our Congress is doing right now with our sequestration carcinoma. They’re on break while we the patient are flopping helplessly on the tuna boat deck.
2014 is the next big election — the next opening in the operating theater. So let’s do what we can do. Vote. And for whom? Anyone NOT already part of the malignancy.
Want to get healthy again? We can! Dump the Chump. If enough people chant along, “Dump the Chump”, you’ll see a lot more positive action while we ride this out. But the most important thing is we rid ourselves of the tumor. Let’s get healthy. Let’s Dump the Chump.
I then asked David this:
“EVERY incumbent? I love Bernie Sanders and Alan Grayson, for example.”
Then, just to be sure, I asked if he meant his “EVERY INCUMBENT” line literally, or if he wanted me to edit.
As I said, this situation is a malignancy — some healthy tissue would be cut if nothing more than a precaution to make sure all of the bad had been excised. But like I also said, after removal, some can be replanted. You mention two wonderful representatives, well senator and a representative, but sadly, without a clean sweep — the point of my meme — there’s never going to be a meaningful change. All the voters will pick their favorites and we’ll end up returning all the crazies along with those few who serve us so well. Look, we lived without Alan G for a term — and he’s back. Hopefully Florida will return him again, someday.
Reality — this movement I propose won’t catch on. But if the threat and rumor do, then you never know. Many successful movements began with one person — in this case me. And I’ll promote Dump the Chump every chance I get so that maybe some day the fear will get into our Congress that election doesn’t mean you stop working for the people, it means you FINALLY START working for the people… and party be damned.
They must do what’s right — not what morons like, McConnell and Boehner and Cantor tell them to do. Look, the Dems have their black sheep as well. But when you listen to Rachel Maddow, as she pointed out last night, there’s nothing stopping both parties from just dropping the sequester with a simple vote. They all think it’s wrong — or a majority do — and yet they do nothing but use this and the threat of harm to we citizens as a ploy.
We need legislators — not clones or robots… I’m not a chip. I’m a person. And these officials could do something about it besides taking a break. Hell, they just started work last month and already recessed for a week before this one. The Dems even proposed passing up the break (of course they knew the Republicans would not accept that offer) but one could argue they were willing to stay and face the work they were elected to do.
I think the point is unless everyone’s vulnerable, or else no one really is.
For the past 25 years, David Garber has been serving as the show runner and or writer on some of television’s biggest hits… Saved By The Bell, Power Rangers, 227, Bill Cosby Show and many other network series. His writing and producing have also netted David two very prestigious awards:the PRISM AWARD and the TV CRITICS AWARD – TV SPECIAL OF THE YEAR. Currently he’s authoring a short story series called “A Few Minutes With…”