“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
PRESIDENT OBAMA’S inauguration is coming up. He will be sworn in with not one, but two Bibles. If the first four difficult years are any indication he’ll need them. Gives him twice as many chances to look for loop holes.
Security is expected to be very tight, but Senators JOHN McCAIN and MITCH McCONNELL will somehow get in anyway.
Yes, our first African-American President will be sworn in for his second term, once again fulfilling the dream of MARTIN LUTHER KING. And as the first Hawaiian born President he also fulfills the dream of the Dole Pineapple Co. and DON HO.
Washington D.C. — which now stands for “Damn Cold” — is expected to have such frigid weather, if you add in the wind chill factor, Congress’ approval rating will be down to minus 13.
This was a big week in Hollywood. The Oscar nominations were announced. “Lincoln” leads the list with 12 nominations. This is a first; not for most nominations. It’s the first time Hollywood has ever voted for a Republican President.
Lincoln’s 12 nominations were not only for the usual Best Picture – Best Director – Best Actor – Best supporting actors awards. It also got a nomination for movie with the “Tallest Hat.”
In the same week they announced the Academy Award nominees, what a coincidence, Fox aired a show called “Stars In Danger.”
The full name of the show is, “Stars in Danger-The High Dive” and it’s about celebrities putting themselves in peril diving off the high board. If it gets a good rating it could lead to a series. What’s next? “Stars In Danger- At Nascar?” – “Stars In Danger-Bull Fighting” – “Stars In Danger-Riding In The Same Car With Lindsay Lohan?”
We also had the annual “People’s Choice Awards.” And for the 10th year in a row the people chose not to watch.
Baseball’s Hall of Fame had its selections for players who are voted in. Once again PETE ROSE did not get in, but he’s already taking bets for next year.
The Mayor of Los Angeles, ANTONIO VILLARAIGOSA, was seen partying in Mexico with CHARLIE SHEEN. I believe that celebration is called “Sink-o de Career-o.”