(AP) — A new shooting game for mobile devices tied to the National Rifle Association is no longer being labeled suitable for preschoolers. "NRA: Practice Range" changed its age recommendation Tuesday from 4 years and up to at least 12 years of age, with an added warning that the game depicts realistic violence.
Oh, well, in that case...
Hey weary moms and dads! Need a little something to keep Timmy and Susie busy while you're off smoking dope, guzzling boxed wine, stuffing your faces with Bagel Bites, and/or having private grown-up time? Well, search no more! Now your little cherubs can fend for themselves while you're otherwise occupied!
Yes, ladies and gents, all your babysitting problems can be solved by purchasing the NRA's newest family values product! Nope, not their new experimental child-size mini-Glockette with 1000-capacity magazine and matching shoulder holsters in Bullet Blue or Projectile Pink!
Nothing says Happy Birthday Four-Year-Old like a video game in which aiming virtual guns at coffin-shaped targets makes you a winner! Weeee! Building self-esteem has never been easier!
So turn that frown upside down, parents! Your tot's well-taken care of now! “NRA: Practice Range” to the rescue!
Who the hell runs their P.R. department, Dick Cheney? Who's their product development head, this guy?
As the nation debates gun control just one month after the Sandy Hook shootings, the NRA has launched a target practice shooting app, which it recommends for children from four years old. [...]
But the main focus is on the shooting game, where users take aim at coffin-shaped targets, complete with red bullseyes at head- and heart-level. Players can also upgrade to a more powerful weapon by paying $0.99.
On iTunes, NRA promises that the app, rated suitable for ages 4 and above, contains a large range of safety tips, information and educational material. This includes '2nd Amendment newsfeeds' and 'gun law information centers.'
Who knows? Maybe they'll even include a framed Steve Stockman collector's edition of the Second Amendment. What a treat that would be!
One perk of the game would be the in-game safety tips, such as "Never use alcohol or drugs before or while shooting." Are you listening, Mom and Dad? Make sure your tiny tots are sober before engaging in firearm fun! No sharing that boxed wine, ya hear?
So now can we all agree that these so-called "pro life" "family values" extremists are obsessed with guns at all costs? Thank you.