“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
Friends of MITT ROMNEY are saying that he’s bored now that he’s no longer running for President. To which ANN ROMNEY said, “He’s bored? I’m sitting around all day with MITT ROMNEY.”
New Jersey GOV. CHRIS CHRISTIE visited the White House. PRESIDENT OBAMA told him, “I’d invite you to lunch, but the deficit is already too high.”
Great Britain’s PRINCESS KATE and PRINCE WILLIAM are expecting a baby. You can tell the baby’s a member of the royal family, the ultrasound showed the kid waving.
The engagement between 86-year-old HUGH HEFNER and his 26-year-old girlfriend CRYSTAL HARRIS is back on. She has agreed to sign a pre-nup, but only if he agrees to sign the “Do not resuscitate order.”
HUGH said today about his fiancée, “I’ve fallen for her and I can’t get up.”
Traditionally the 86th anniversary is “Oak,” and married to a 26 year-old, HEF will need all the wood he can muster.
I hope the wedding will be planned to take place this summer. Hopefully on the July 4th weekend. On their wedding night this may be the only fireworks the bride will get to see.
At least with their age difference the only thing she’ll have to blow on is his soup.
Speaking of May/September romances, DEMI MOORE has a new very young boyfriend, VITO SCHNABEL, and they’re inseparable. They have to be, he’s not allowed to cross the street by himself.
DEMI says she loves younger men. They don’t know what they’re doing, but they can do it all night.
It’s December, time to celebrate the Yuletide season with a Christmas tree from Canada, ornaments from China, colored lights from Malaysia and toys from Taiwan. Yes, there’s nothing like a good old fashioned American Christmas.
The Christmas spirit is already in the air. A woman was rushed to the Emergency Room with a broken leg and they gift wrapped it.