Gosh! Exxon Mobil loves our children sooo much! Who knew?
If only they'd pay their fair share of taxes, but hey, they're "job creators" so it's all good, "jobs creators" who feel compelled to drill drill drill, baby, because, see, "energy exploration" *Cough! Wheeze! Hack!" is our future and will solve every single one of our nation's problems!
But that's okay, because boy howdy are they endearing with feel-good ads like this, or what?!...
The more we invest in our teachers the better our students will perform. Now is the time to take action. Together we can put American students back on top. Find out more at exxonmobil.com/letssolvethis
Oh my, hahahaaaa! Excuse me, sorry... guffaw! I can't seem to *chuckle* help myself! That was a good one! *Chortle* They want to invest in our teachers! What a knee slapper! Who woulda thunk it?
But wait... wait just a minute. What's this? Exxon is "solving this" alright... by teaching them climate denial.
So, oops, it seems Exxon hates your children after all:
FINALLY: A TV ad that tells it like it is: EXXON HATES YOUR CHILDREN. Go to ExxonHatesYourChildren.com if you want to see it on national television!