“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
PRESIDENT OBAMA and MITT ROMNEY, as is the custom after an election, had lunch together at the White House. They served chili. In fact the whole meeting was pretty chilly. It didn’t help any when at the end of the lunch the bill came and OBAMA only offered to pay 47 percent.
The man who got the MITT ROMNEY face tattoo is having it removed because he said “ROMNEY has no dignity.” Once you get a face tattoo, you’re no longer allowed to talk about dignity.
Two people won the 580 million dollar Powerball lottery. One of them said she dreamed the numbers she should put on her entry. Sominex is demanding a share of the winnings.
Israel says its “Iron Dome” defense intercepted more than 90% of Hamas’ missiles. Usually to see that many interceptions you have to watch a Philadelphia Eagles game.
PRESIDENT OBAMA ended his four-day, three-country trip to Asia. Insiders say it was very productive. Not only did the Prez meet with heads of state to discuss Syria and the Palestinians, but more importantly he may have found a country that will make “Twinkies” for us.
The ROLLING STONES celebrated their 50th anniversary. You can tell the band has aged. Their groupies are still getting them drugs, but now it’s “Lipitor.”
A toy company is recalling 600,000 JENNY McCARTHY dolls. The mouth won’t close.
McDonald’s new $4.39 “Angus CBO” contains cheddar cheese, salty strips of bacon and a third of a pound Angus beef patty. For 50 cents extra you get the “Value Deal” — a festival of cholesterol. It comes with fries, a drink and an angioplasty.