"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!
Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
It's that time of the year when we all sit around the table and give thanks.
GOV. CHRIS CHRISTIE is thankful "Hostess," of "Twinkies" and "Ding Dongs" fame, will go out of business. Although, he does have a load of the delicious snack cakes stocked up in his pantry that should keep him in calories for some time. "Twinkies" has a shelf life longer than a sofa.
ALLEN WEST is thankful that after losing his seat in Congress he's able to get his old job back, pumping hot air at "Jiffy-Lube."
BEN AFFLECK is thankful he directed and starred in what looks like an award winning movie, "Argo," and this year his only turkey was on his Thanksgiving table.
The CITIZENS OF FLORIDA are thankful they've finished counting, JOHN McCAIN lost, and now they can get on with the counting of ballots from THIS year's election.
MITT ROMNEY is thankful he doesn't have to make any more campaign promises. All his clothes have been destroyed. His pants were on fire.
The first family celebrated Thanksgiving at Camp David. They had planned to have a big turkey, but most Republicans were out of town.
As he did last Thanksgiving, PRESIDENT OBAMA pardoned two turkeys. In his cell, at the Federal Correctional Complex in Butner, North Carolina, BERNIE MADOFF was heard calling out, "Gobble Gobble -- Gobble Gobble."
SARAH PALIN is thinking of writing another book, and you thought Thanksgiving dinner made you sleepy.
Colorado and Washington just legalized marijuana. If "Hostess" can't figure out a way to make money off of that, then maybe they shouldn't be in the snack cake business after all.
People Magazine just named CHANNING TATUM the "Sexiest Man Alive." To honor the occasion CHANNING had "The Gap" make him special leather pants with an asbestos lining - in case his Testosterone flares up.