Anger mismanagement

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

Via selfhelptipsblog.org

 

I'm having one of those days. I had no Internets access for hours, when I was finally able to post my first one of the day, The Political Carnival crashed, plus there are about a zillion personal issues going on (we all have those), and I'm hours behind because of the first two setbacks. Hence, I am experiencing severe crankitude and would love to scream at someone, preferably the nearest Republican.

However, I won't. And you know why I won't? Because, call me crazy, but I'm a firm believer in civility. Even during heated arguments. Even with right wing nut jobs.

Which brings me to Twitter, the Keith Olbermann v. Current TV legal battle, and cyberbullying in general.

As I said in my initial post about Current firing Keith Olbermann, there has been an onslaught of harsh critics who wasted no time in sending venomous tweets directly to Keith and about him to anyone in the Twitterverse who would listen.

I also said, to those who have that much hostility toward him, don’t watch him (which you can’t now, anyway), and that it seems childish to send rude (and from what I’ve seen, irrationally so), blatantly offensive tweets to him. It accomplishes nothing.

And I ended with the novel idea of the Progressive community treating each other with some civility when it comes to dealing with one another. Instead of eating our own, I posted, please save your vitriol for the right wing extremists, because we need all the liberal voices we can get.

Most who responded agreed with me, but a few Twitter followers justified the unreasonably vicious frontal attacks on Keith by saying, essentially, "Well, he's an asshole, so he deserves what he gets." One even rationalized that, hey, he's a millionaire, so go for it. I beg to differ.

His celebrity, even his high profile controversies, don't make him fair game for random abuse.

Was he ever disrespectful to you personally? Those who tweeted me about this said, no, only to others. In that case, were those others rude to him first? And aren't conversations between Keith and those others just that, between the two of them? Of course, anyone should feel free to disagree with one or both parties, and even express an opinion... but jumping in uninvited when an exchange doesn't immediately involve you as an excuse to gratuitously name-call, disparage, or pile on seems unnecessary and destructive.

After all, love him or hate him, KO is on our side, politically. He's a powerful Progressive voice, someone who is not afraid (clearly) to speak up, most often for causes that we libs support.

Bullying is wrong, whether used against a child or an adult. I've run up against some pretty brutal cyberbullying aimed directly at me, and it makes me wonder: What is the other person getting out of it? Do they feel so powerless, so cowardly, in their own lives that they feel that hiding behind their computer and/or anonymity gives them license to intentionally try to hurt another human being? Is there nothing else that pumps them up, preferably something worthwhile and worthy of their time and attention, something that they could contribute to society in a positive way?

Keith has feelings. He's human. Even if you don't like his style, his politics, or even the way he tweets to other people, he still feels pain and the sting of vulgar insults. So do you. So do I.

Civility matters. Kindness and patience matter. Taking a breath, taking a moment to think, using reason all matter. Without these things, communication between us would be reduced to the equivalent of the old wild west days of shooting first, asking questions later (or as I like to call it, Florida).

And from what I've observed over the past few days, months, even years, there seems to be an increase in emotional disarray, lack of consideration for others, and respect, grace, and thoughtfulness are being replaced with a license to kill (with words and otherwise).

Sure, if you're a target, if you're ambushed, fight back, bring on the snark, stand up for yourself.

But if you're a person who has no qualms about verbally assaulting others for sport, please think twice. Would you do the same face to face? Would your parents be proud of that kind of unsolicited behavior? Or your boss? Or significant other? Or anyone else you truly care about?

Would you want to be the recipient?

Stream of consciousness over. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare
  • Historylover81

    lintinin
    KO never wanted KO hire TYT, that came from Christopher. I want you and Christopher to explain to me in words that I can understand how does we get back to you mean that KO wanted TYT, that is how made up that post nis. Were are the numbers Lintinene that shows that Cenk was beating KO in that demo, the only numbers that I have seen since KO left shows that Current has gone down in the ratings and that Cenk is struggling which shows that TYT was never beating him in the ratings. NOthing has said that KO wanted to hire Spizer. IF you would read his lawsuit instead of listening to the made stories, KO was not allowed to hire people, Current would never even listen to his suggestions and they never deined that in thier lawsuit, Hyatt even said that KO's title was honory which means that they did not think that he was in charge of the news. All that you have said there has shown to be false. KO's logo was a card that was given him to Lettermen. You show that you care nothing about the truth and just want to post made up lies about KO. KO was against Spizer subbing and got on Current's case about that. You would know that if you would read KO's lawsuit which Current cannot refute and has the citations and dates in it, Keep lying about what happened at Current and showing how badly that they beat him. Tell the truth you lost resepct for him because KO was not suppose to critize Spizer which he never said should have a show thier nothing. KO was never suppose to critize Cenk, who he never was in support of hiring. WE'll get back does not mean that KO wanted KO on Current, that means that he was thinking he could be a contributor, also I want you and Christopher and anyone else that believes that crap, explain why was Current in contract neogations with Spizer in November, maybe that should tell you that Current was trying to get KO out and was finding ways to break his contract, that is how BS and total stupid that quto is and why you need to use your logic and see that thier is no proof that KO ego had him leaving CUrrent, I have read everything and I see nothing that shows that ego was got him out, i see no evicdence that shows that he wanted Cenk that was made up TYT and Current which shows that KO was right about them. I see no evidence that shows that KO wanted Spizer. Guest hoesting does not mean that you wanted someone to work there, that how unlogical and non-senes this post is. KO got abused by Current and if you would actually listen to the truth instead of the lies that Mediate and Current are putting out, you would see that Current broke KO's contract. You cannot say that KO wanted Cenk and than believe that Current was giving him honory title of News Chief, that shows how hypocritical Current is. Tell the truth you lost respect because you do not want hear the truth about TYT and Spizer. You post shows just how guiable and navie some progessives are. They will be believe stoires that have been proven false aka the KO wanted TYT which he never did. Get back does not mean that KO wanted Cenk, and never will. Keep making me gain more respect and love for KO and keep showing how Current abused KO and why ego had zero to do with what happened at Current. I bet you would believe that story about Cenk overshowding when that turned out to false. KO is not jealous of Cenk, KO critizes Obama just as much that is how made up your post is. Keep showing that you 0nly respect KO when  he did what you wanted. KO never wanted TYT just expect that. TYT never was beating thier is no evidence that shows that either story is true. 

  • Mark Ahasic

    KO brings a unique set of gifts to the public discussion of current policies.  He possesses an incredible intellect & can apply it with passion.  His recollection of facts allows for very stimulating discussions with panel guests.  His cosmopolitan education makes viewing all of this a joy.  There is never a mis-placed word or thought..no gaffe or follow-up apologies for misunderstood "jokes".  While he has a strong political opinion, I don't believe he misuses it as at Fox by dissembling about the facts.  He can be more than assertive with fools he disagrees with, but I'll accept that in trade for his intensity & concerns over public policy.  His persona hasn't fit in well with most broadcasters, a matter of mendacity & control over his skill set.  He is the sort of topical genius I'd never try to "manage"...jut resource with 110% of what he asked for.  I hope he lands soon as the 2012 Elections will require his gifts!

  • http://thepoliticalcarnival.net/ GottaLaff

    Thank you, but Paddy didn't write this one. Laffy did, lol.

  • theaggressiveprogressiveQUEER

    WELL WRITTEN AND STATED PATTY. 

  • Jaym Esch

    I used to treat conservatives with civility- in fact, the nastier the tone, the higher the road I'd take in countering.

    Then Twitter and Facebook came into their primes, and President Obama because elected after the entire world suffered eight years of damages- all on record and indisputable- under Bush's reign of terror.

    At this point, the level of nastiness from conservatives went to maximum suck at ludicrous speed. My life difficulties (unemployed 9+ years and alone 14+ due to anxiety disorder I've had to kick and scream to get help for over a decade because of our conservative lack of national healthcare) have been taunted, mocked, ridiculed and called "lies". Yes, many people with Mensa level IQs just decide, "You know, I'm going to miss out on my entire 30's due to unemployment so I can lie about being unable to work due to anxiety. It'll be fun!"

    Even the above would be dismissible as typical conservative lack of compassion and ignorance over most matters (if it doesn't happen in their world, it doesn't exist, of course.) But then it got even worse.

    I'm now up to *eight* conservatives who have told me to commit suicide- without snark- online. I've been told, after sharing my experiences in our broken society, that our nation shouldn't care at all about "fellow countrymen"- in fact, the exact quote was "I don't care about 'fellow countrymen'. Other than me and my family, I don't care about anyone else. They're either unimportant or an obstacle in my way." Add in the daily thousands of man hours of conservative propaganda that is influencing elections and destroying lives, including mine, and I reached my limit a long time ago.

    So, no... I no longer have the tolerance to be civil to conservatives. I'm the nicest guy in any room- but I have seen their true colors, and there is nothing there to respect. These people want me dead, care not if I suffer a meaningless, penniless life...  I won't play nice while this is happening.

    I no longer spend time debating the other side very often (you can't, when they don't recognize facts as facts, or reality as reality.) But when one comes out of the woodwork to snipe at me, I most certainly am going full guns blazing at them, as nasty as I can be. My favorite thing, because I *know* they are less intelligent than me, is to rub this in their face by telling them I associate with a higher caliber of people. Then I *dismiss* them. Nothing pisses someone off more than being dismissed. It's pretty humiliating, and I love watching them whine about it.

    When they stop suggesting I kill myself, stop pushing our nation into a death spiral, and stop trying to make massive swaths of our nation suffer due to their greed- AND they begin acknowledging reality and facts- then, and only then, will I go back to civil.

    In the meantime, I'm about to start a new T-shirt line for the election season that has *very* aggressive tone designed to piss them off in public- because I'd *love* to see one of these anonymous cowards (notice how they never use their real names on Twitter?) try to tell me to kill myself to my face. After losing my 20s and 30s, and having no current hope for the future, I have nothing to lose, and can easily demonstrate that to them if they decide to step up to their bravado in person.

    I have a white T-shirt with a peace sign painted as the US flag. If President Obama loses this fall, I will be wearing that shirt the next day- but I will have used a sharpie on it to write "RIP America 1776-2012" on the front and "2012: Birth of the Conservative New Holy Amerikkkan Empire" on the back. These truths need to be made clear- and loudly.

  • http://twitter.com/Aqua_Buddah Jason Rowe

    "Bullying is wrong, whether used against a child or an adult."

    If we don't take anything away from this article beyond THOSE WORDS, this post is worth ten pounds of gold.

    GottaLaff is one of the best role models for honor and civility on Twitter. There are notable people out there that have completely missed the boat on this, and it is their loss.

    Here is the part of this post that is the crux of the issue:

    "I’ve run up
    against some pretty brutal cyberbullying aimed directly at me, and it
    makes me wonder: What is the other person getting out of it? Do they
    feel so powerless in their own lives that they feel that hiding behind
    their computer and/or anonymity gives them license to intentionally try
    to hurt another human being?"

    Simply-put... YES!

    As Laffy's graphic suggests, ANGER doesn't spring into being as an emotion unto itself; It is derived from OTHER emotions (Anger Mgt 101). What that chart is saying, in a nutshell, is "When we feel weak, we use anger to make us feel STRONG again."

    There is no instance of anger that cannot be traced to an underlying emotion of "weakness".

    REMEMBER this the next time you see or hear a RWNJ (or LWNJ, for that matter) going over-the-top in their rhetoric. With some people, you can practically draw a map back to what the REAL issues they have are. You can engage, try to reason with them, but if they're in full nutjob mode, it's better to simply move on.

    Oh, by the way; I enter LWNJ mode far more often than I would like to.

    But, I'm working on it...

  • lintintin

    I've never typed mean tweets to KO or anyone else, but when Keith went after Spitzer on Twitter and Cenk of The Young Turks in his lawsuit papers after he first wanted him hired, I lost a good deal of respect for him. When he found out The Young Turks ratings in the 25-54 demographic were higher than his own, he turned on them. I think Lawrence O'Donnell is okay even though his show has a tabloid slant, but it wasn't lost on me and others that KO even made his Countdown Twitter logo look like the one Lawrence O'Donnell uses. It's as if he's trying to be as much of a thorn as he can be, and I think that is downright tawdry. I think he's a good Progressive, but I don't think KO is a good sport--pretty ironic given that his first job was that of a sportscaster.

  • Pat Connors

    I really feel that the anti-Keith stuff coming out in blogs and twitter since his suit was filed and everyone could read it, comes mostly from the TYT followers.  They are a loyal group and probably upset with Keith over his remarks about Cenk.

    Mis-information is being spread that Keith was fired from MSNBC.  He left the station because he wanted to and he negotiated with them to get out of his contract.  He wanted to go to Current.  He is being criticized because of the amount of dollars he is asking for, which is the amount owed him through his contract if found he was wrongfully fired.

    He is not having a dispute with Gore, Gore really isn't involved with the running of Current.  His gripe is with Hyatt.  The recent personal attacks are a result of the particulars of his law suit being made public and for what he said about putting The Young Turks on Current.  He was against it and felt when Hyatt went over his head and put it on air anyhow, it was a breach of his contract.  That is why it was in his lawsuit.  Now the loyal followers of TYT  are attacking Keith and it looks like the left is divided.

    It is my opinion it is not divided.  Rational thinkers understand that Keith felt his contract was violated and needed to fight back, not just for compensation owed but for his reputation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1048522215 Marty Weinstein

    Beautifully expressed but I would differ on one point: if you're attacked, fighting back accomplishes nothing, you're only standing up to a fool. The best advice I have is to walk away and not let an idiot needlessly raise your blood pressure. And if you think Twitter is bad, at least it's limited to 140 characters, Facebook is Armageddon in comparison.

  • http://twitter.com/TheRagingCelt Richard Jensen

    Friendly reminder.  Every time progressives fight among themselves, Dick Cheney gets a boner.
    Remember that the next time you want to get into a pie fight with someone on your team.

  • http://twitter.com/MeLoseBrainUhOh W. Brian Tucker

    That's part of the problem right there - it's not Olbermann v Gore so much as Olbermann v Hyatt.  Al Gore's problem is that he pretty much stayed out of the fray and let Joel Hyatt run things (into the ground).  Unfortunately, when Gore was needed as perhaps a middle-man, he always deferred to his buddy Hyatt and fell for the same "Keith-is-just-a-hothead" line without considering the possibility that Hyatt was grossly incompetent at managing a cable network.

  • http://twitter.com/hotincleveland Truly S.

    Thanks. Excellent point. So many people, conservatives AND liberals, have proven themselves willing to believe anything negative said about Keith, based merely on his "reputation." This is not to say the man is perfect and doesn't probably still have his issues. It's just to say...something isn't necessarily true JUST because it seems in keeping with things you've heard about a person's behavior in the past. The situation here is that Keith's reputation for not getting along with management so precedes him that whenever he complains he's been done wrong, people don't believe it. This time he's doubly cursed because one of the people he's complaining about is Al Gore, a progressive hero to many. So in essence, the camps are divided: Olbermann loyalists vs. Gore loyalists, while the conservatives just sit back, eat popcorn and enjoy.

    I admit, I have more reason to believe Olbermann than Gore, so I've taken my side and I've said some strong things. But is there a need to bully either one? Of course not.

  • http://twitter.com/whatsamatta_u Paul W

    The Unknown Comic lobbed wordsmerds with a bag over his head.  One day, he took the bag off and made the same jokes. That was the last we saw of him. It takes courage to face a crowd with your face, knowing everything you say may be followed by a barrage of rotten eggs, and you have to be prepared to stick by your words, because rotten eggs are mighty sticky.  It takes no courage to throw a rotten egg with a bag over your head.  And if some guy outside hires you and gives you a bag of rotten eggs to throw at the Comic, you better save some for dinner.

  • http://twitter.com/ladyblue49 Ann Marie

    Thank you for the wake up we need to keep in mind the RWNJ would love nothing better then divide the progressives I hope we will not let them win