Mitt Romney knows where the best deals on grave sites are


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Hey chums! Looking for a grave site, cheap? Well, look no more! Willard Romney knows exactly where we can get a real steal on one, and he's here to tell you all about it, because, well, that's just the kind of regular guy he is.

Why, it would be no surprise to anyone if he adopts Alan Grayson's "Die quickly!" as his own, snaps up every available grave site, fires anyone and everyone in his path, outsources any remaining jobs, and takes over where Brighton funeral establishments leave off!

MLive fills us in on the essentials Willard shared with a Kalamazoo audience. Feel like kicking the bucket? Need a place for that final resting spot? Then pack the kiddies in the car and scoot over to Brighton, but hurry up, they're going fast! Get yours today!

Drove past Brighton. My parents' grave sites are there. My dad — trust my dad — my dad is a very frugal man. He checked all over for where the best deal was on a grave site. And he found a place in Brighton — because we didn't live in Brighton. 

It’s like, "How did you pick Brighton dad?"

"Well, it's the best price I could find in the whole state."


That's right, folks, he's even outsourcing his own burial plot.