I'm exhausted from live tweeting, so if you don't mind, I'll just copy and paste (with a few edits) my snarky tweets of Vice President Suleiman's speech:
Suleiman #shortversion: Reaffirms Mubarak's national sense, his standing on the side of the people. And then there was a collective spit take.
Suleiman #shortversion: Mubarak put the interest of the country above anything. .... except his bank account.
Suleiman #shortversion: I'm asking everyone to stabilize... calm down... because, hey, WHY WOULD YOU BE MAD??
Suleiman #shortversion: Transfer of power will take place according to the Constitution. Oh wait, we still have a Constitution?
Suleiman #shortversion: Look to future. Yes we can! Oh wait. That phrase represents a democracy. My bad.
Suleiman #shortversion: Go back home, to those HIGH PAYING jobs of yours! Hey, lookeethere! I made a funny!
Suleiman #shortversion: Those heroic military forces who kept you secure? Hey, they must be the same ones who beat you, right? Just doin' their job.
Suleiman #shortversion: I sweartogod I'll work to keep Egypt secure. Just as it's been for the past few weeks. Oh wait.
Suleiman is in effect in charge during transition, says @DylanRatigan "Change has begun" said Suleiman. Just like Obama! Oh wait.
That's the gist of what he said, and my demented interpretations. The Egyptian people are livid, as I posted here.