Monthly Archives: November 2010

One of my absolute favorite Twitter friends has offered to share something he wrote with TPC.  Steve Weinstein is a talented and accomplished writer who has come up with a piece of satire about “President Obama yet again negotiating uselessly with himself.”

In this episode, Prez O’s premature offering of the federal employee pay freeze to the GOP gets the Weinstein treatment:

A Democrat walks into a GOP car dealership. “I really like this model,” the Dem announces. “What kind of deal can you offer me today?”

“Well the MSRP is $44,995,” replies the salesman, “and I absolutely cannot take a penny less.”

“Hmmm,” sighs the Dem. “I was hoping for some kind of compromise because this is going to blow a giant hole in my budget. What if I throw in the vehicle that I’m currently driving? It’s served me well for years and years.”

“I love your vehicle,” says the salesman. “Everyone had such hope for that model. Especially back in 2008. I’ll take it, but I’m still going to have to insist on the full MSRP for the new car.”

Dumbfounded, the Dem stares at the salesman for a second and marvels, “Wow, that really doesn’t seem fair.”

“Hold on,” says the salesman, “Let me see what I can do.” He disappears into a back office. When he returns ten minutes later he enthusiastically proclaims, “I just made a call to my manager at the Chamber of Commerce, and he has authorized me to accept your used vehicle AND the full MSRP in exchange for the new one. But as a gesture of goodwill for our taking this shopworn issue off the road for good, he insists that you also leave us your backbone and everything you have ever believed in in the trunk of your old car.”

The Dem ponders the offer for a second, then turns to walk away. Two steps later, he spins around and stuns even the salesman. “OK. If that’s the only way I’m going to get out of here today, you’ve got yourself a deal.”

The salesman smiles and hands over the keys to the shiny new automobile. “There’s just one more thing.”

“What’s that?” the Dem asks.

“I’m going to have to line up a gauntlet of the entire sales and service crews and allow them to fling raw eggs at your new car as you drive it off the lot.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” the Dem agrees. “As long as they don’t shriek, ‘Socialist’ or  ‘Antichrist’ as they do.

“Terrific,” the salesman concludes with a smirk. “But do remember that in a free country, I can’t make any promises.”

Steve Weinstein (Twitter:@steveweinstein ) is a writer in Los Angeles and author of the book, “A Wish Can Change Your Life.”