Pedophile Island

I was just sitting here minding my own business, and then Paddy sent me to a web site belonging to a candidate for governor of my state, California. Meet Douglas Hughes.

I now understand why people in other parts of the country thing we’re bonkers.  Take a gander at this:

As governor I will introduce legislation to impose mandatory expulsion of convicted pedophiles from the State of California as a condition of release from prison.

Pedophiles in the State of California will have three (3) choices:

1.     Leave our State of California permanently;

2.     Live on Santa Rosa Island (a self supporting community for pedophiles and sexual offenders);

3.     Remain in prison for life [...]

It may be hard to believe and you may ask me, “Why give pedophiles a safe haven to live?” The answer is simple. As your governor I know this is the easiest and fastest way to have pedophiles out of our neighborhoods. They will be placed into a controlled environment that promotes abstaining from sexual deviancy.

And what could prevent sexual deviancy more effectively than putting all of the deviants in once place, together, away from everyone else, with each other? Alone.

Why not place them in a community of likeness where they can live out their lives away from the very thing that incites their sickness, our children.

A name… a name… Such a place must have a catchy name, something that sounds friendly, yet remote. Something a little frisky, yet punitive…

Santa Rosa Island is the island that will be used as a “Pedophile Island”.

Pedophile Island! Perfect!  Why, it could be a sort of twisted Disneyland attraction! A place where absolutely nobody goes. Completely isolated:

Most of the visitors who go there are Park Rangers or environmentalists, not the general public. So using it as a pedophile island will not cost the taxpayers any additional money.

Oh.

Pfft. That’s okay. Environmentalists and Park Rangers are just liberal commie Marxists in disguise, or in this case, in uniform. Who cares what happens to them… or their kids? If they’re the only other people wandering around Pedophile Island, and they happen to bump into a pedophile or two, that’s just fine and dandy. What could possibly happen?

But that’s not important now. What is important is that there really should be some kind of Pedophile Island Council… some way to keep law and order while all the bad guys run around not perving on each other. A sort of…master plan. Well, that term is a little extreme, a little cockeyed, a little radical, but you know what I mean:

The first of pedophiles to go to the island would be a lead team for “their society” such as police, fire personnel, judges, fish and game agents, forest rangers, ranchers, farmers, building contractors, surveyors, and the like to establish the “Island” community.  This lead team will be responsible for creating a master plan for the “Island.

The official Society of Pervs will come up with the dreaded Master Plan. Brilliant! This just gets better and better…

This “Island” will represent a way of life that has long since been forgotten: one in which our forefathers came to this land with a wagon, some animals, seed, and tools, looking for water and land to build their lives around. These men will be provided these things so that they may keep themselves busy and build their own lives while staying out of trouble.

Oh my. Oh geez. Oh god. Oh wow. Oy vey!

You simply must go here to see the whole stark raving mad thing.