Utah County parents protest schools' promotion of 'democracy'

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By GottaLaff

The D word! Oh noes! Kids, cover your ears! Adults, watch your mouths!

Some Utah County parents are calling on the Alpine School District to stop spreading "false educational ideas." First and foremost, the parents say, the district needs to clamp down on its use of the D-word: "democracy."

Why... sputter, sputter... How. Dare. They? Words like d... de... de-e-m-m o... democracy (whew! I barely got that out, it was made of such nasty dirty filthy wrong) should be banned! Redacted! Removed from dictionaries!

Why, why... that's a gateway word!! Next thing you know, an innocent child may slip and morph right into big f***ing deal!

Yes, it's actually come to this:

This week, a spokeswoman for Utah's Republic, a group that advocates for a strict interpretation of the U.S. Constitution, asked the Alpine Board of Education to scrap its democracy-centered mission statement. [...]

But this nation is a republic, not a democracy, said Oak Norton, a Highland father of five and the founder of Utah's Republic. The Constitution guarantees every state a "republican form of government." "Karl Marx said, 'Democracy is the road to socialism,' " Norton said. A true democracy, he said, relies solely on majority rule and inevitably devolves into anarchy, which then sprouts socialist dictators.

That's commie Marxist gay abortionist French fascist socialist Jewish Muslim dictators to you, Elm.

Sorry... Oak.

But never fear, the board stands by its language. Good. We'd hate for a guy named after a tree to dictate anything to a place of education.

The Alpine board:

"We chose 'our democracy' to reflect both a government with power vested in the people and our freedoms. We not only recognize that our government is a republic, but we value and participate in this form of government with an elected Board of Education," the statement said. "The use of the word democracy underscores the type of republic found in the United States."

Gee, ya think?

You can read more about the end of the United States as we know it here.

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